


One Last Look

by MovieWocher



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cheating, Clexa, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-08-23 13:59:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8330470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MovieWocher/pseuds/MovieWocher
Summary: It has been years since Clarke left Lexa. She'd be lying if she said she hadn't thought about her every now and then. But now that she was about to get married, it seemed like Lexa was the only one she can think about. It's normal, right?





	1. The Unexpected Visit

Lexa just poured herself tea when a knock on the door startled her. She looked at her watch and saw that it was indeed too early for visitors or deliveries. Frowning, she walked over and peered through the window curtains. A sight she hadn’t seen in years greeted her. There Clarke was, looking like time passed her over. She bit her lip deciding what to do when Clarke lifted her hand again to knock. Worried about the noise, Lexa opened the door in one swift motion.

“Hi,” Clarke greeted as she stood anxiously outside the door but still appreciative of the figure that Lexa cut. She, dressed in a black tank top, raccoon pajama bottoms, hair tied in a messy ponytail, still looked good even with mascara running slightly around her eyes. She remembered that Lexa used to forget to take off her makeup when she was too tired.

“Hey,” Lexa greeted back, puzzled with the intrusion.  

“Am I interrupting?” Clarke asked as she looked over Lexa’s shoulders to see if there was anyone else inside.

“Depends.”

“I’m getting married,” Clarke announced suddenly, her voice lacking the excitement one expects when they hear this type of news.

“Congratulations.” Lexa said without betraying any emotions, not that she knew what she was feeling at the moment. “Are you inviting me to the wedding?”  

“Ha ha, very funny,” Clarke answered as she entered the apartment without waiting for an invitation. “I need to do something.”

“Is this some sort of twelve steps because if you are here to apolo ---,” Lexa did not get to complete her sentence as Clarke suddenly latched on to her and started kissing her. For a second, Lexa forgot about their shared history, lost in the kiss that felt like no time had passed between them. She was about to place her arms around Clarke’s waist to pull her closer when a sound of a car honking outside brought her back to reality. “What the hell, Clarke,” Lexa said as she pushed her away.

Clarke didn’t seem to be disturbed by the push. But she seemed preoccupied as her fingers stroke her lips that were just a few seconds earlier joined with Lexa’s. She then shook her head and looked straight at Lexa. “Oh God, this is a problem.” Then without another word, she left.

Lexa went to the door and watched as Clarke got in her car and pulled away, tires screeching. She was still standing there, watching the dust settle when the door to the bedroom opened.

“Morning,” a blonde haired girl greeted as she padded into the living room wearing only a shirt. “I heard a noise. Did someone came in?”

“Nothing to worry about,” Lexa answered as she closed the front door and smiled at the blonde whose name she couldn’t remember. She didn’t worry about it, she knew she wouldn’t see her after today. The blonde was just one of those girls.


	2. Bridal Shower

That night, Clarke pulled herself together to go to her bridal shower. It was her second. The first one with her close friends was the wild unforgettable one and this one is PG rated where family was expected to join. She was glad for the over flowing wine. She hoped that the alcohol daze would cancel out the Lexa daze she had been under since that morning. When enough people arrived, her best friends started the program. They started with games which surely enough with the help of alcohol turned out to be fun. The last one was Trivia Time. Organized by Octavia, it was Raven’s turn to participate in the game. It was going well until the question asked for Clarke’s first love. Some answered her fiancée’s name, some answered some old boyfriends’ names, but of course Raven just had to shout Lexa’s name. Clarke felt herself flushing as some smiled knowingly at her. But it got worse when she turned and saw her mom glaring at her. She looked at Octavia for help. Octavia coughed to get everyone’s attention and announced that the answer was Finn, Clarke’s first boyfriend in school. As she passed down a picture of Clarke and Finn together, Raven’s answer was all forgotten except by Clarke who sat there lost in her own world until the next question was raised. Draining the glass, Clarke plastered on a smile and focused on the game.

The party was winding down when Clarke found herself sandwiched between Raven and Octavia.

“Aren’t we the bestest friends you can ever have?” Octavia asked.

“Yes,” Clarke answered as she placed her arms around her friend’s shoulders pulling them together. “Thanks guys for organizing all my bridal showers.”

“I thought Abby was going to kill me earlier when I shouted out Lexa’s name.” Raven said with a laugh. Clarke froze at the mention of the name. It did not go unnoticed by her friends.

“Are you alright?” Raven asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Clarke answered with a laugh as she reached for her glass and downed the half full glass. “You know my mom. She never really got used to that part of my life.”

“That is true,” Octavia said. “You would think it wouldn’t be a big deal at this age but you never really know.”

“As much as I love Abby, she really need to loosen up sometimes,” Raven said. “I really thought that you and Lexa would be the ones walking down the aisle. You are so good together.”

“Were --- past tense.” Clarke said as she smiled widely at her friends, hoping that their alcohol addled minds accept what she was saying at face value. “And it doesn’t matter. That’s in the past and this is the future.”

“Yeah and three days from now, you’ll be the most beautiful bride.”

“Cheers,” Raven said as she raised her glass.

After a few hours of tossing and turning, Clarke stood up and checked her phone. It was almost three in the morning and she hadn’t slept a wink. She would have thought that drinking copious amount of alcohol would guarantee a deep sleep but instead it only aided to confuse her more. She paced around the room as she called to mind the kiss earlier. She only went there to prove to herself that Lexa didn’t mean anything to her anymore. She didn’t count on how her body reacted, she didn’t count on how it would further mess up her mind. She laid down on her bed and closed her eyes once more only to open them up again with steel determination. She needed to see Lexa one more time. After a few minutes, she was outside waiting for her cab.

 *******    

Frantic knocking rouse Lexa from her sleep. Checking the time, she surmised that whoever is at the door was there due to an emergency. Images of accidents playing on her mind, Lexa hurried to the door. The last thing she expected to see was Clarke again. And this time, she was obviously drunk and grinning at her.  

“Do you know what time is it?” Lexa asked with a sigh.  

Clarke tried to focus on the question, nodding her head thoughtfully, before looking back at Lexa. “It’s time for Clarke and Lexa to talk.”

“No. It’s time for normal people to be fast asleep in their beds.”

“Okay. I can do that.” Clarke pushed the door open and went inside. “So where is the bed? Is it still in the same room?” She didn’t wait for the answer, heading directly to the bedroom.

Lexa closed the door and rushed towards Clarke, grabbing her arm and leading her to the couch in the living room. “What are you doing?”

“You said we should be in bed.”

“In separate beds, in separate houses. You’re stinking drunk.” Lexa looked lost as she wondered what to do. “I’m going to call Octavia.”

“Oh don’t bother. She’s as drunk as I am. We finished the bottles of wine in my bridal shower. Really good wine. You would have loved it.”

“Clarke, what are you doing here? We haven’t seen each other for three years and out of nowhere you barged in my house twice on the same day.”

Clarke did not answer. Instead she unsteadily stood up and walked the few steps to Lexa. She leaned towards Lexa and whispered, “I’m getting married.”

“I know. You told me this morning.”

“I want to make sure that there is nothing between us.”

“There is nothing between us,” Lexa said. “Okay? Now that you have your answer, you can go home.”

“But the kiss,” Clarke argued, “did it not make you feel something?”

“It was just a kiss.”

“Why don’t I remind you.” Clarke moved her head to face Lexa. Then she raised her arms and wrapped them across Lexa’s nape, pulling her closer until their lips met. Lexa found herself lost again in Clarke.

“You’re getting married.” Lexa whispered in the kiss.

“I know.” Clarke answered as she pulled Lexa to the bedroom, her lips destroying all of Lexa’s defenses.       

*******

The next morning, Lexa woke up to find Clarke staring at her. She pulled the blanket tighter to her body as she turned to face her.

“When is the wedding?” Lexa asked.

“Day after tomorrow.”

“I suppose it’s going to push through.”

“Of course,” Clarke answered weakly. “We’ve already paid the caterer, the hotel, the gowns. Do you know how much it costs to hold a wedding? And besides my mom would kill me.”

“Ah yes, please send my regards to Abby.” Lexa said as she rolled her eyes, remembering how Abby hadn’t approved of her. She sat up and put on her clothes. When she finished, she looked back at the bed and saw that Clarke was still staring at her, her face unreadable.

“I got my answer.” Clarke said breaking the silence.

“Obviously, since you are still getting married and all,” Lexa said. “I don’t mind. It was fun for me, too,” she added with a shrug. She minded but she won’t give Clarke the satisfaction of knowing that. The wound she thought was closed, had reopened. It took all her might to give the appearance that she was okay.

Clarke reached out for her arm and squeezed it. “Lexa…”

“Hey, if you need another romp in the hay, you know where to find me.” Lexa didn’t let Clarke finish. She said it to stop the awkwardness that started to slip in. She didn’t mean it. But obviously Clarke didn’t understand it when she appeared outside her door again after a month, wearing her wedding ring. And then again after a few days until it became a weekly thing. They didn’t talk much. Their body did the talking for them. And every time Clarke left to go back to her husband, Lexa felt her heart breaking like it did three years ago. She didn’t think it was possible but it only became more painful each time. One day she need to start saying no.


	3. Bad Girl Clarke

It was one of those days. Clarke felt like a school girl again as she sat down at the hospital cafeteria. Whenever her mom wanted to talk to her about something difficult, she’d ask her to have snack or lunch or dinner in the cafeteria. This prevented anyone of them in making a huge scene. The last time was three years ago and now she’s back there again. She hadn’t waited for too long when Abby came in carrying a tray of desserts.   

“Clarke, how are you?” Abby asked as she kissed and hugged Clarke, before sitting down beside her.

“Good,” Clarke answered. “Why did you invite me here? What’s the problem?” No sense delaying the inevitable.

Abby started playing with a muffin.

“Don’t keep me in suspense, Mom.”

Abby dropped the muffin back in its plate with a frown. “Your husband talked to me the other day.”

“What?” Clarke brows furrowed. “Why would he talk to you?”

“He’s worried.”

“Whatever it is, it is our business. Not yours, not anyone else.” Clarke felt her voice rising, oblivious of the stares that they were starting to get because of her outburst.

“Clarke, don’t raise your voice.”

“I don’t understand why he would talk to you and not to me.” Clarke whispered furiously.

“He doesn’t know how to talk to you. He said that you changed.”

“That’s ridiculous.”  Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Is it?” Abby asked. “Ever since you got married, he said that you’ve become distant. He said that he can count the times that you two had se ---”

“Oh my God. Oh my God. I can’t believe I’m hearing this!” Clarke said as she pushed her fingers in her ears.

“Clarke, we’re all adults here. Don’t act like a petulant child,” Abby said. “And you have to admit that for newlyweds, that is not normal.”   

“I’m not going to sit here and talk about my sex life with my mom. I’m out of here.” Clarke said as she grabbed her purse and walked out.

Abby sighed as she looked at Clarke stomping out of the cafeteria. She wanted this discussion as much as Clarke but her son-in-law was clearly clueless and needed help.

*******

Clarke slammed her car door shut, the sound slightly calming her down. This was a conversation she wasn’t ready to have. And with her mother nonetheless. She knew that what she was doing was wrong but after seeing Lexa, it just brought back all those feelings that she tried so hard to forget. And for the better part of the last two years, she really thought she had gotten over her. It was a stupid idea seeing her before the wedding. She should have just stayed away. But she didn’t. And after they spent the night together, she wanted to call off the wedding. But Lexa said that it was just fun. With her pride hurt, Clarke forced herself to believe that everything will be back to normal after the wedding. Who was she kidding? The moment they arrived back, all she can think off was Lexa. Safe in the confines of her car, Clarke shouted her frustration. She was angry. She was furious at herself. It wasn’t fair to her husband. Maybe she should just break it off. In her messed up mind, she decided it was the best thing. If she was able to force herself to forget Lexa before, she can do it again. So instead of going home, she headed over Lexa’s. After thirty minutes, Clarke was knocking on Lexa’s door.

The door opened and Clarke found herself staring at a girl that was not Lexa. She hadn’t seen her before. “Where’s Lexa?”

“She’s inside,” the girl answered as she stepped to the side to let Clarke in.                                                        

“Who are you?” Clarke asked, suspicious of the pretty blonde girl in the cute floral summer dress.

“I’m her date.”

“Date?” Clarke was no longer bothering to hide how pissed off she was, all her plans forgotten.               

“Yeah. And who are you?” The blonde asked her.

“I’m her…” Clarke trailed off, suddenly aware that she doesn’t exactly know what they are.

“Let me guess… you’re Clarke, right? You look exactly the way she described you. First date and she spent nearly an hour talking about you. That should have been a clue.” The blonde laughed humorlessly. “But she’s hot so I decided to give it another chance. And now you’re here. This is too much drama for a Friday night.” The blonde picked up her bag and went to the door. “Tell her it was fun, until it wasn’t.” Clarke looked on as the door closed, jealousy enveloping her in a rage. 

Lexa chose that moment to come out of the bathroom. “Sorry about that, that fish did not agree with me.” Lexa froze as she saw Clarke standing in her living room. “Clarke? What are you doing here? Where’s ---”

Clarke slowly turned towards Lexa. “You went out on a date?” It wasn’t a question, more of an accusation. “You went out on a date,” she repeated, her body shaking.    

“Yeah. I did.” Lexa answered cautiously.

“How could you?” Clarke hissed.

“Well it’s obvious that we are not in an exclusive relationship. I don’t ask you what you do with your husband.” Lexa said, her voice coloring with disdain at the last word. “Why are you acting so hurt and offended?” Lexa asked calmly after taking a deep breath.

“It’s different. You’re mine. You shouldn’t go out with other people.”

Something snapped in Lexa. “Do you hear yourself?” Lexa’s tone matching Clarke’s. “Are you expecting me to just sit around here waiting for you? I’m not your spare. I’m not someone you can go to when you get tired of playing house. I’m not your dirty little secret. I don’t deserve this. And I’m not a thing that you own.”

Clarke’s features softened as she realized what Lexa was saying, her anger abating with each word. She was suddenly mortified by her actions. She couldn’t believe how she let her emotions blind her to what she was doing. “Lexa… you’re not a spare. It’s not ---.”

“You left me, Clarke. You broke me. I couldn’t bring myself to trust other people. I’m not allowing you to hurt me again. I’m done. And this time, I’m the one leaving.” Lexa stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

**Three Years Ago**

“What do you mean we have to break up?”

“I’m transferring universities,” Clarke said as she paced nervously around Lexa’s house, refusing to look at Lexa directly.  

“We don’t have to break up for that.” Lexa said as she followed Clarke. “People do that all the time and it works out.”

“No,” Clarke said. “Let’s spare ourselves the trouble of trying to make a long distance relationship work. It’s just won’t.”

“Then I’ll move with you.” Clarke stilled as she felt Lexa wrapped her arms around her. “I like this place but I’m not attached to it.”

Clarke twisted away from Lexa’s hold on her and started pacing again. “No.”

“What do you mean no?” Lexa asked as she grabbed Clarke’s arm to stop her from moving. Her eyes narrowing as she realized that this was no typical conversation.

“No, it’s not going to work. No, you can’t move with me.” Clarke said as she faced Lexa. “We can’t be together anymore.”

“I know that what we have is not perfect but whatever it is that you’re going through right now, we can handle it together. We can make this work.” Lexa’s hand slipped down to hold Clarke’s. “I love you.”

“No…I can’t fight for us anymore. I can’t choose you over my family. It is just too hard and I am too tired.”

Lexa released her grip on Clarke and let her hand fall limply to her side. “Abby will eventually accept us,” Lexa said weakly.

“She won’t. And my dad just got diagnosed with…” Clarke unable to say word as she started crying. “There’s just too much going on right now, something has to give. I’m sorry, I really am sorry.” Clarke managed to say in between sobs.

Lexa stepped closer trying to comfort Clarke but everytime she laid a hand on her, Clarke would shake it off. Lexa eventually stopped trying. “Don’t do this. You promised you won’t leave me like Costia. I’ll do anything. I’ll be anything you need me to.” Lexa pleaded.

Clarke leaned towards her, their foreheads touching, feeling each other’s breath. “Goodbye Lexa.” Then she pulled away and left Lexa standing alone inside the house.


	4. Wounds that Run too Deep

“You did what?”

“Don’t make me repeat it again,” Clarke said as she downed another shot and signaled the bartender for another one.      

Raven and Octavia looked at their friend as if she had lost her mind. 

“It’s been three years and you are married for goodness sake. I thought you were over her,” Octavia said.

“That was my assumption as well.” Clarke tapped the countertop for the bartender to hurry up.

“Shit, that’s just whack,” Raven said as she took a sip of her beer. “So what are you planning to do?”

“The right thing,” Clarke answered. “What I should have done from the very start. But since I cannot turn back time, I’m going to give back Bellamy’s freedom and dignity. I’m divorcing him.” She emptied the glass.

“Wait… you just said that Lexa hates your guts.”

“I’ll do anything to win her back. Who knows, I might get her to change her mind.” A smile appeared for a second, before it wavered and was replaced by a look of defeat. “But if I can’t, I’m not going to treat Bell as a consolation prize. He deserves more than that. He needs to be with someone who can give him the love that he deserves.”

The three girls sat quietly as they continued to sip their drinks, each lost in their own thoughts.

“How about Abby? She won’t be happy with that,” Octavia asked, breaking the silence.

“Octavia, Clarke is a grown ass woman. She should be able to stand up for herself,” Raven said.

“You never really like Bellamy,” Octavia pointed out.

“That’s not a fair statement. I like the dude just fine, just not with Clarke.”

“I never understood that about you.” Clarke spoke up as she looked at Raven. 

Raven contemplated the question before answering. “I’ve seen you happy before, it wasn’t that way with him. I mean you look happy, but different. I don’t know… it’s just a feeling I get.”

***

One month passed and once again, Clarke found herself at Lexa’s front door. She probably should have called first but she knew how Lexa would react. It was better to do what she was about do in person. Gathering her courage, she was about to knock when the door opened. Lexa, all dressed up, looked at her in surprise. Not a second had passed when the surprise changed to furrowed brows and tight lips.

“Did you hit your head or something? What are you doing here?” Lexa asked as she angrily locked the door.

“Lexa, I know that you are mad at me.” Clarke started to explain.

“Mad? I think you have to use a more powerful word to describe how I feel about you. Mad is when someone forgets to buy something from the grocery. Mad is when someone forgets their anniversary date. What you did is beyond mad.” Lexa glared at her before walking towards her car.

“I’m divorcing him. I’m leaving him.” Clarke frantically said as she followed Lexa.                                              

“So what?” Lexa asked as she turned around and faced Clarke, her voice rising. “Am I supposed to fall down on my knees and thank the gods that you are back? Am I supposed to drop everything and come running into your arms? Am I supposed to forget everything that you did? Kiss and makeup?”

Clarke was taken aback by Lexa’s tone. She had this big speech all planned out but now nothing seemed to come to mind. “I love you Lexa. Tell me what I need to do to make it up to you.”         

Lexa sneered at her before getting inside her car and turning on the ignition. Then as if an afterthought, she rolled down her window and looked directly at Clarke. “Now you know how it felt.”

Clarke was left standing in the dust, hot tears streaming down her face. She deserved it so she accepted it. But she felt numb. She couldn’t remember walking back to her car. She couldn’t remember turning it on. She couldn’t remember driving away from Lexa’s house. She couldn’t remember another car barreling towards her. What she can remember was the quiet and peace that came with the darkness.

***

Faint noises. Beeping sounds. Frantic voices. Those invaded Clarke’s consciousness time and time again only to be overcome by silence everytime. Then those times started getting longer and longer. It was one of those times when Clarke was able to focus her eyes. She saw her mother looking worried and forcing a smile. In a quiet voice, Abby told her about the accident. It was touch and go for a time but she’s going to be alright. Clarke smiled at her mom, lulled by the sedatives and promptly fell asleep. The next thing she remembered were Raven and Octavia. They arrived just in time as she was waking up. Then they were trying to make her laugh until her mom shooed them away so that she can get her rest. The next few days, everything was starting to get clearer. She vaguely remembered the accident but the last talk she had with Lexa was vivid in her mind. She wanted the pain outside to match the pain inside. She told the doctors that she didn’t want to take any painkillers. It was almost two days without them when she started hallucinating. She saw Lexa walking towards her.

“Clarke, you should take your medicines. It’s going to make you feel better.”

“I’m good. I want this. I deserve this,” Clarke said as she felt every muscles in her body contracting.

Lexa wiped the sweat from Clarke’s face. “You asked me what I need you to do, do you remember? Well I want you to take these medicines. Do this for me, Clarke.”

“Okay.” She can do this for Lexa. She took the medicine and swallowed it down.

Lexa leaned towards her and kissed her on the forehead. Clarke smiled and fell asleep.

***

Clarke felt consciousness descend upon her again. She opened her eyes to the dim light of the room. She turned her head to call out for her mom and saw Lexa instead curled up on the chair beside her, holding her hand. She blinked her eyes several times, not trusting them but Lexa was still there.

“Lexa?”

Lexa woke up with a start. Her face turning to concern as she sat up. “Are you okay? Are you feeling better?”

“Yes.” Clarke answered. “Is it really you?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

Clarke tried to pull away from her. “You should leave.”  

“What?”

“You don’t have to do this.” Clarke choke out. “I didn’t get into that accident so that you’ll feel sorry for me or to guilt you into doing something that you don’t want to. Go.” She raised her arm to push Lexa away.

Abby suddenly came into view. “Clarke, don’t exert yourself.”

“I don’t want her here. She should leave, now. Now!” Clarke shouted as loud as she can.

Lexa looked on in disbelief before shaking her head and walking out of the room. Abby followed her. “I’m sorry about that.”

“She think she’s doing the right thing.” Lexa sighed deeply as a guilt washed over her features. “I really just wanted to check up on her. We had a fight or rather I yelled at her as she quietly stood by before the accident. I feel responsible.”

“It’s not your fault.” Abby said.

Lexa smiled gratefully at Abby. She nodded at her and walked towards the elevator.

“Lexa wait,” Abby called out. “I want to say that I’m sorry about the way I acted before, when you two were together.”

Lexa turned around. “That’s okay Mrs. Griffin. I don’t expect everyone to understand. Maybe there will come a time when ---.”

“I was the one who forced Clarke to break up with you,” Abby said cutting Lexa off. “I guilted her into it. I used her dad’s illness.”

Lexa suddenly felt like she couldn’t breath but she forced herself to speak. “It’s all in the past. We’ve all moved forward from that time.”

“She really didn’t want to.” Abby continued. “And she was sad for a long time, even though she tried to hide it especially from her dad.”

“That’s okay, Mrs. Griffin. We don’t need to talk about this. I better go.” Lexa turned around and made it inside the elevator just before it closed. She closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing. When the door opened at the ground floor, she found herself face to face with Clarke’s husband. He looked distraught and barely glanced at her. Lexa nearly tripped trying to get away.

She was almost at the exit, when she saw the sign to the chapel. She wasn’t religious by any amount but she found those places peaceful and quiet. So she went there and sat down, thankful that there’s no one inside. She hasn’t been there for a long time, when she heard the door open and close. She felt someone sit behind her. She turned around and found herself looking at the man from the elevator. Bellamy, she remembered his name. She saw that his eyes were red.

“Tough day?” She asked, even though she knew she shouldn’t.

“You could say that.”  

“They say it’s always the darkest before dawn.”

“I’ll top your saying with -- if you love someone, set them free. And if they…” Bellamy trailed off. He looked at Lexa and smiled sadly at her. “I always thought that if my love was big enough, I can fill in the empty spaces in the other person, that I can remove the sadness in their eyes. But I realize that it doesn’t work that way. What can you do, eh?”

“Life sucks,” Lexa said.

“It kindda does,” Bellamy said as he stared pensively at the altar. “That’s why when you find the one who can make it a little bit bearable, you should hold on to them.”

“Even when they hurt you? There are wounds that are just too deep to heal.”

“People are only human. We make mistakes. Sometimes small ones and sometimes a little bit too big. You can choose to blame but you can also choose to forgive.” Bellamy stood up. “I have to go. I wish you well… Lexa.”

“Wait, you know who I am?” Lexa asked.                                                                                       

“She doesn’t know but I found pictures of the two of you together. And no matter how hard I tried, I can never get her to smile the same way she did when she was with you.”

“I’m sorry,” Lexa said but Bellamy was already at the door.

Lexa stayed for a few more minutes inside the chapel before stepping out and retracing her steps. When she was outside the hospital room, she saw that Clarke was lying on her side, facing the wall, her shoulders trembling. Lexa can hear her quietly sobbing. She softly knocked at the open door.

Clarke turned her head, recognized Lexa, and quickly dabbed her eyes. “Did you forget something?”

“I did.” Lexa answered as she entered the room and closed the door behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this, check out my other works. I have other Clexa fics here in AO3. It's not always angst and cheaters, I promise.   
> If you didn't like this... well, it is what it is. I saw that most of you really hated Clarke in this story. She made mistakes, big ones. But everyone deserves a second or a third or nth chance for redemption.


	5. Epilogue

**Months Later**

Clarke and Lexa were walking hand-in-hand in the promenade. They just finished watching a movie and was on their way back home. The air was cool and fragrant with the scent of the incoming spring. Every few seconds Clarke would secretly glance at Lexa.

“I can see you, you know.” Lexa said as both continued walking.

“What?” Clarke asked with a grin as she full on turned her head towards Lexa, then almost stumbling down.

“Be careful, will you,” Lexa said with a laugh as she helped Clarke straighten up.

“I can’t help it. There’s this beautiful girl standing at my side. It would be such a crime not to look at her.”

“Clarke… don’t turn us into one of those types.”

“What type?”

“Those gross, vomit inducing, dripping with maple syrupy couples that everyone just wants to kill.”

Clarke stopped once again and looked at Lexa earnestly. “You know I’ll do anything for you. I’d climb the highest mountain for you. I’d swim the deepest ocean for you. I’ll make you coffee everyday. I’ll give you the last slice of pizza everytime. I’ll even watch all those Netflix documentaries that you loved so much even if I keep on falling asleep. But what you’re asking of me right now,” Clarke paused dramatically and shook her head slowly, “sorry to disappoint you once again Lexa, but that is one thing I cannot do.”

Lexa let out a hmft then walked ahead of Clarke. Knowing that Clarke cannot see, she smiled to herself. Although she wouldn’t admit it, she was secretly thrilled.

***  

“Don’t be worried. It’s going to be fine. And you two are buddies now, right?” Clarke asked as she smiled at Lexa. They were outside Abby’s new house and was just about to knock.

“We talked that one time, Clarke when you almost died,” Lexa said with a sigh. “With all the stress, she wasn’t herself.”

“She’s change, Lexa.” Clarke reassured her. “And I really need to go to the bathroom, so let’s move it.” She added, jumping up and down a bit to emphasize her current bladder status.

Lexa took a deep breath and was about to knock when the door opened.

“I thought I heard talking,” Abby said as she hugged both Clarke and Lexa. “Come in.”

Clarke entered and ran to the bathroom, leaving Lexa and Abby alone.

“The house looks great, Mrs. Griffin.” Lexa said as she stood awkwardly outside the door.

“Not sure how you can tell from out there. Come.” Abby smiled as she led Lexa in. “And call me Abby.” Abby gave a quick tour of the house and they ended up in the kitchen where Clarke was waiting. “So now that you’ve seen everything, is it still great?” Abby asked with a teasing smile.

“Yes, ah, of course. It is nicely decorated.” Lexa stammered out.

Abby winked at Clarke and then asked them to help set up the table. When everything was ready, they all sat around the table.

“Lexa, Clarke told me this is your favorite.” Abby said as she uncovered a dish.

Lexa leaned in a bit and saw that it was. She smiled with anticipation but after a second, she became guarded and nervous once again. “You shouldn’t have Mrs. Grif… Abby.”

“No, I really should.” Abby reached out, grabbed Lexa’s hand, and gave it a squeeze. “I have so many things to apologize for, the way I behaved towards you, how I made Clarke break up with you. I cannot turn back time but I hope that you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me and we can start over again.”

“It’s what they say… water under the bridge,” Lexa said as she stood up and walked over to where Abby was seated. “I’m just glad that we’re okay now.” Clarke wiped her eyes as the two hugged.  

***

“No… No…” Clarke whined as she stomped her feet.

“You don’t want to marry me?” Lexa asked, looking puzzled and confused as Clarke continued to throw a fit. “I thought we were on the same page with this.”

“No… I mean yes. I want to marry you. But it should be me proposing, not you.”

Lexa broke into a smile. “When.”

Clarke stopped and faced Lexa, confused. “You want a date already?”

“No, I’m just saying when.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Remember when we were in the hospital and I told you that you have a lifetime to make it up to me?”

“Yes.”

“And you told me that it will still never be enough. Then I’ll told you when it is. So this is me saying when.” Lexa said as she stepped towards Clarke and cradled her face with her hands. “The last six years have been the happiest in my life and it’s all because of you. I love you, Clarke Griffin.”

“I love you more, ten thousand more, to infinity, till the end of the world and the day after.”

“I’m not going to get into an argument with you about who loves the other more.” Lexa said with a smile. “Just say yes.”

“Yes, I will marry you Lexa Woods.”

**Month Ago… That Night in the Hospital**

Clarke turned her head, recognized Lexa, and quickly dabbed her eyes. “Did you forget something?”

“I did.” Lexa answered as she entered the room and closed the door behind her. “I forgot… I forgot you… us. It’s just that you hurt me so much and I finally couldn’t take it anymore.”

“I’m so sorry,” Clarke said as she started crying again. “I wasn’t strong enough to fight for you.”

Lexa stayed by the door as Clarke continued to cry. Then as if she couldn’t stop herself, she found herself walking towards the bed. “But I still love you. God knows why but I do.”

Clarke raised her head, tears still falling down on her face. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Well now, you have a lifetime to make it up to me.”

“It may still never be enough.”                                                                                                                                                 

“I’ll tell you when.”

Clarke, with her tear stained bruised face, looked up at Lexa hopefully.

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Dtate124, thanks for reading.


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